I am slowly dealing with all the pain that was caused
By a silent attack that destroyed my soul
I have yet understood this stealth act
If it was truly hidden or I to myself lied
Did I lie to not open my eyes?
I think it was more comfortable the darkness in which I abide
So comfortable in imagination I lived
That when my eyes where opened the light destroyed me
It penetrated my soul like a spear
No defense did I find to go near.
Now I am slowly picking my scattered pieces
In the midst of the carefulness to remove the spear
I cannot explain how now I feel
Is a mix of the pain and a hope unreal
The pain that cause me almost to expire
But a hope that I will be healed in the entire
Does that make sense?
It surely won’t in the human laws
But my healing will only come from above
From Him who knew pain like no other of us
With His love I am learning now
The pain that almost killed me He is turning around
I will trust Him even in the pain
He will heal me fully; I will rise again
Oh, the consumerism world! Where everything is geared to what we can acquire. The specific value of an item gives direction to the intensity of our desire for it. We have Amazon, EBay and so many sites where everything is so conveniently accessible with so much variety that it traps our senses for several hours without notice. If we look for something other ten show on the list distracting you from what initially took you there. Finally you reach the checkout point where you glance at your cart having twenty different items and none was what you initially needed. In the end you buy them and leave the site. A couple hours later you come back remembering that what you needed to buy in the first place you didn’t. Can you relate to this? I found myself doing this and shamelessly repeating more times than I should.
What makes us get so overwhelmed about possessions? There was a time in my life where possessions were the thermometer of my security. The more or better things I had the more secure I felt. There was emptiness in my life. Every time that feeling arose inside of me I would fill it with a new computer, a new outfit or anything that was pretty and made me feel good because of its monetary value. Oddly enough it was like my fulfillment sack had a leaking hole. As fast as I bought it the feeling of security would be leaking from me. There, in that moment, I would go back to the same cycle trying to find something else to satisfy. What was I missing? What did I need that no money could buy?
I was missing love. Not the love of a partner but the love that fills you and being filled with it you are able to feel love for those around you. The love that threw out all bitterness and selfishness from me. I was missing fulfillment. The fulfillment that could not be brought by a stable career, a fancy house, nice car or any material possession; it was the fulfillment of life. I am not talking about the life we are living but that deep sensation that we do not merely exist but we are actually living. I found that in Jesus Christ.
I have been living for thirty-three years and many out of those only existed. He filled that void, the emptiness that would leak at every try. He gave me life. A life in which my security no longer lies on what I can buy but on Him who paid the price for my sins. That is something that money would never buy and no rich man on Earth can place a price. This is the priceless gift given to us. It’s priceless because its value transcends from this Earth into an eternal life far greater than any possession that we would ever imagine.
On this day give priority to Him who makes you live and not just exist. The real security of life is not on the possessions or the financial security it only relies on the real valid security that is Jesus Christ as Savior of your life.
To My Followers and Readers,
Well readers I know I have been absent for a good while and I do apologize for this.
It has been tough this past year juggling both blogs i.e. ginoskocristo and ginoskochrist. Saying this I have made the decision to merge both blogs into one. I will maintain the original blog Ginoskocristo.wordpress.com and this will be my ONLY presence on WordPress. I would appreciate so much if you as my followers will show the same appreciation of following me there as you have given me here. This change will be gradual. I will keep you posted on all changes and finally when I close this blog. I thank you all in advance for the wonderful support. I hope all may keep enjoying the lines that I may write.
Entre neblinas impenetrables
La luz que pueda alumbrarme
Y mostrarme el camino que no veo
Sobre el atroz desierto
Este que mata a paso lento
Todo razonamiento que ayude a volver en mi
Todo aquello que es obscuro
Aquello sin principio ni final alguno
Un horizonte sin rumbo
Entre palabras en el silencio
Que jamas se escucharan
A nadie diciendo
A gritos hago preguntas
Que en sus aguas me inundan
A la profundidad del por que sin contestar
Revivir de alguna manera
Aun sin aire que provea
El aliento del vivir
En la pesadumbre del dolor
En la esperanza ciega de algo mejor
En la espera de un cambio tuyo Señor
El ultimo que queda
De un alma casi muerta que desea
Un soplo de vida que sane su pena
Con todo ser diferente
Con ser aun mas fuerte de lo que una vez fui
Sueño volver a ser yo misma la que Dios siempre ha hecho feliz