Resisting

In a fight of thoughts I stay

God trying to lead the way

My mind fighting to stay

In the same mindset

That kept me stuck & astray

I, fighting so deep

I’m every day trying to resist

The urge to give up in any way

It is not for me

To leave everything 

I fought for and leap

Into the unknown 

Without proper direction of God

Without understanding that all

I am going through 

Is a process to make me strong

That I may not quit

But instead resist

Looking up to God

The Maker of my life

The Everything of my soul

For He is my help

The One who holds,

My hand

That I may keep on…

©Y.R.

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A Heart

   

I have asked for a new heart
One more grounded
Less apart
From Your Word
From Your presence and grace
One that will be keen
To the direction You bring
To everything in my life
A healed and healthy heart
Not one in pieces
With broken pieces bonded tight
I want a new one
No residual of scars 
Of what I’ve gone through life
A heart that separates what is real from false
A heart that trusts only in You, oh Lord
A heart that will not open
To no random person in wind
But open to the one You have separated for me
A new heart I plea!
Change mine is not in one piece
For You are the healer
The Divine doctor that gives me the heart
That at Your rhythm will beat…

©Y.R.

REACT!!!

The snares of the enemy 

Bring us so much pain
When we distance from God
To find things our own way
When we think we can manage
And truly believe
We have inner strength
To escape out and succeed
Ignoring the warnings
All coming from above
Repeating the disapproval
That sin has from God
No matter how prayerful
We think we can be
Our prayer is hindered 
When we are living in sin
Until full repentance
And a firm decision is made
To depart from sin
And to surrender our ways
The work of the Lord we want in our lives
Is on hold waiting for the time
Until our hearts surrender 
And recognized
The reason God send His Son 
For us to die
Was to live for Him
And the Word that is our guide
To honor Christ who sacrifice 
That we may receive eternal life
©Y.R.

The Right Choice

I went through so much

Thinking in my strength 
I would be strong
But it failed…
I thought I could be bold
Not wanting something back
God had already from my side dispose
My pride was hurt 
And my emotions blown
Just to realize 
Wanting this was not worth it
It was just wrong!
That since the beginning 
I made the right choice
To be a servant of the High God
To step away from the damage source…
And now as time has passed
I made the mistake of reminising the past
Thinking something was there
I came empty handed
Blinded by the enemy’s snare
Of broken dreams
Whose pieces can never be restored
Instead of asking God for new ones to keep on…
This is on me
The fault lies now within
For allowing myself to even think
That this was all that was for me
The truth is so far from what I have seen
I learned in this journey
That I deserve better
That I am worthy 
Of being treated like a queen…
That some people are never meant to stay
The longer their time
The slower comes the tide 
That wipes all the pain away…
Now a lesson is being learned
Of my value
And the blind who came
That took me for granted
And forgot of the priviledge 
They had to know me one day
I don’t speak in pride
But all in humble truth
For I am priviledge to keep walking with God
And not depart from His side; I choose…
Choosing the will of God
Over mine I never regret
For God gives me everything
That no empty man for me can obtain…
Now my eyes are opened 
True light I see
His protecting power has been over me
From a greater mistake farther along
God showed He has something greater 
For I am His daughter
The daughter of the Most High God…
©Y.R.

Turning

All my world turns 

Spinning again

In the direction 

Of the straight and narrow road

Where I find all

That I ever wanted and more

The path of everlasting love

The path of greatness in all

The path that leads me to a glory awe…

©Y.R.

Nothing

I waited
For nothing to come
Not even the wind
Was bringing forth
Any hope; any joy
Barren land I’m in 
Where the truth is not seen
Lies take away my peace
Help Lord! Please!
I need to sleep!
Recue me from this pit!
Tears keep rolling
I’m waiting for happiness to stop them
And truth to dry them up
But what truth am I waiting for?
The patched up?
The ones with a facade? 
Hiding the cruel reality inside
Do I want to know?
Is there any truth at all?
In men not at all
But of you, Christ, I recall
Saying You are the Way, Truth and Life

So in you my Lord, the living Truth, I will rely

©Y.R.

SELF

I am talking to you, self,
You who takes my emotions
On a spinning motion
At an incontrollable speed
Oh indeed I can’t much understand
How you take me to the top
Where desperation crawls 
And covers me with no place to run
Oh you, who thinks to know it all!
My inner self, the controlling troll!
Not consulting, not pondering
But in a lack of truth resolving
Attacks every situation at its own will
Just to find
The cruel truth 
That abiding by his own thinking 
Nothing comes right
Even if it seems at first
The impulses of not consulting
The One who is the Beginning and End
Brings disillusion of what I think is best.
Oh if I could put a muzzle on your mouth!
Wrap you in chains to control you about
That I would have dominion to direct
And not you directing my every step
There is only one way
I’ll bring you up still wrapped in those chains
To the Holy Spirit who knows how to tame
Every bit of your own selfish desires
I’ll use the Word as a constant reminder
That you don’t control my every move
That my word and action will be in truth
Grounded on certainty of the knowledge 
That Jesus is my Lord 

I will obey Him and not you!

©Y.R.

Blowing Up

My heart is blowing up

My thoughts can’t go no more
I can’t find a stop
I have to find an exit in all
Oh how I wish I find
The exit to uncertainty inside
I want to break free
Be myself, the real me
The one, You, God created to be
I want to laugh 
Laugh again so hard
Surrounded by the joy
The one Your Spirit in me overflows
I need a moment
A long one to reflect
To think, organize, forget
All these emotions inside
Lord, please help
I need Your power divine
That soothing no human balm can give
That marvellous touch
Surrounding me with Your love so big
It is You!
Only You I need!
Its Your presence I seek!
For I know tears now dont cease
But with one touch from You
I will smile again
I’ll be truly free

©Y.R.

You Are Here



Let my heart rejoice in You
That every beat leaps
That every breath deeps
With Your overwhelming presence
Can I stay?
Under Your wings lay
In Your peace delight
Knowing my Lord, 
You are here by my side?
I want to so much!
Lean against your chest and know
That through all You are here
Lifting me up and wiping my tears

©Y.R.

My Will?

How naïve have I been!
Thinking my way is the ease
That I can graciously formulate
The plan of my life
Not realizing the little resources I have.
Futile thoughts my mind thinks
Pondering ways to God’s will skip
I am only deceiving 
Oh my! My own self!
Fighting with weak strength
The will of my Creator!
Poor of my soul!
A wretch is he
In its own way wanting to proceed
I wondering if that is the cause
Of what now goes
I feeling trapped in my own goals
Stuck in a tangle that doesn’t seem to clear
A tangle of all everything God doesn’t want near
Waiting for me is my Savior Divine
Waiting for me to decide
If I will break free of what I want

And finally to Him surrender my will and life

©Y.R.

Waking Up

I am dreaming of a new beginning
My process is soon ending
Bringing new blessings
I have only seen in my sleep
Oh what a relief!
When my heart just settles
In the love that is eternal
In the truth that sustains itself
In my loving Christ
I look back at my life
In my thinking realize
The road traveled has not destroyed
It has kept me strong
Every trial and situation mold
The person God wants to show
It’s overwhelming
I can’t fathom think
How in my darkest moments
God was working in me
Changing, instructing, and emerging in me
The woman He created
Breaking down the woman
The world wanted to make out of me
Is here where I see, I realize
That every situation
Gives forth another chance
That new beginnings will come in
When we surrender to God
Give Him our all
And over everything trust Him

©Y.R.

Attention

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I wish you would seek
So diligently the presence of God
As you do worldly things
That your attention would gear more to the Word
That a strong rhythm of faith
Synchronizes with your heart’s beat
That your mind would be steadfast
In the truth of the Word
In the love of Christ who died for you
That you will never drift away
Oh how I long that you would comprehend
The great deliverance and peace
If you trust Him would obtain
That every dark moment
Is Him working in you
Whether you see it now
Or just not have a clue
That every situation that comes as a dismay
It is Him showing He is the only Way
Only for one reason He does this to you
So you lift up your eyes and realize
He is the only Way, Life and Truth

©Y.R.
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A Love

I love you
Eventhough it hurts
All the pain
Did not blow my love away
It is still beating
Strong with each pulse
Strong love you don’t know
It is not human to love again
When wounds cover
Still opened in dismay
It is a love only from Divine
A love only given by JesusChrist
The love that trascended
Time and space
Overpassing any hurt and pain
A love given so freely to me
Even when I don’t succeed
I have the unconditional fountain of love
That is God in me

©Y.R.

Your Word

When my mind rumbles
And I tend to over think
I will ground my thoughts
In your Word of peace

When I see darkness
Surround and abound
The lamp unto my feet
Takes all darkness out

When the battle gets stronger
And weakened I get
I meditate on your Word
That increases my strength

When I do not know
The road to pick
I’ll cling to Your Word to guide
To do what is pleasing to Thee

©Y.R.

Lessons

There are lessons in life
We need to learn
One is to submit to God
Dispite all hurt and pain
To surrender our will
For God’s perfect way
To allow His purpose
To be our gain
Not to look at the present or
The past circumstance
That distorts the glorious future
God designed for us to have
That all soon passes
In its due time
Healing is received guided by His hand
Even when we don’t all understand
Our knowledge in the process increases
When we choose to trust
And in God rely

@Y.R.

I Need A Change

I do not understand
The things I do
How my emotions control my attitude
How can I say “I’m a child of God”
When I treat people like scum?
When I hide my words
In my attitudes show my hurt
Not a nice pondering is this
Realizing a change has to be done in me
Yes, in me!
Not in the people around
But in my inside grounds
In the deepness
Of me there needs a change
A cleansing of bitterness and unforgiveness
Yes, it hurts
For me to realize
That instead of receiving healing
I’ve let unforgiveness rule over me
I cannot pretend that I’m ok
I need Your healing, Lord, promptly today!
If not I will perish in internal deceit
Of a fake and temporary peace
I want to be free in my spirit and soul
Seeing the light of Your love
That as You forgave me
So shall I have to procede
For it’s Your forgiveness that gave me a reason to live
I cannot do this on my own
I need Your help and guidance
Please help my Lord!

©Y.R.

In A Moment

In a moment
Where the silence abides
My heart quietly gives you its time
When words don’t have
It’s smooth flow
I lay in Your presence
Waiting on You, Oh Lord!
In a momnent
Where roads to take
Seem to have unclear ways
I hold on to Your hand
Let Your Spirit lead the way
When I can’t handle another step
I cried to You
You carry me
Renew my strength
In a moment
Where caos surrounds
My heart overwhelms
Distress in me abounds
I accept the peace
You spoke about
In a moment
When I think all hope is gone
I go back to the moment
Where in your presence
I was renewed
I grew strong

©Y.R.

I Look To Him

I will look beyond
I will see the greatness of God
Where my peace lies
And my comfort stays
Where I don’t fear trouble
Where I am not dismayed
I will look to Him
Who saved my soul
The Eternal and gracious
Jesus, our Lord
Whom to all the praise has to be
My Christ, My Saviour, My King

©Y.R.

Why?

Oh my!
Why do I do the things I do!😡
I need to trust God!
Not myself!
Not what I see!
Not what I think!
I’m such an idiot!
Why don’t I learn!
That God has His own way of doing things!
That His way will bring blessing not grief!
I don’t know what to do!
I want to trust You Lord!
I want to trust Your ways!
But when I get closer I drift away
Now I repent of my awful attitude and disregard
Of thinking I could do more than Your power and might
I surrender my “I” that tends to disregard
All that You have taught me through Your Word Divine
I surrender my all
I need to remember in all
Your ways are always better than mine.

You Will Make It

Thinking about God my heart sinks
Yes, it sinks.
I am confronted with myself
I realize His greatness and eternal love
I stare in awe
Of my sinful condition
How He sent Christ to cleanse me from all
I meditate on His Word
Every letter; every phrase
Knocking at my heart
Asking to abide
So its work may start.

Then there comes my troubles
My mind wants to influence
What God Himself has said
It’s the best for my life
Surrendering to Christ
Letting Him change inside
It’s that battle that takes my peace
I, knowing what is good to me
Choosing things that break me
Not nourish me
Spiritually, I mean.

Then my soul ponders some more
On His grace
The one we don’t deserve
Why? Why would He be like that?
When my sinful nature reveals that
I keep failing Him
No righteous in me
It doesn’t matter to Him
The times my sinfulness makes me sink
His loving grace lifts me
I am certainly not perfect at all
But to His grace I cling all day long
For when I can’t He says I am here
I will carry you through
You will make it, My Dear.

©Y.R.